Getting mad at me just because I was trolling

This entire post doesn't even need an introduction. A girl started talking to me.

Jada- why'd you say i said i liked you? psh, boy please. -.-

Me- I don't know you. I've never spoken to you before in my life. I have never heard of you. I have no idea what you are talking about.

Jada- my status? you were all " you said you liked me" like wtf. & your right. you DONT know me.

Me- What status?

Jada-iit said " i like you <33 "but i deleted it because someone i dont know.. (you) commented & said that

Me- Oooooh. It is called a joke. Learn about them. They originated back when people could talk.
When you say "I like you" I took it personally for fun.
Get it? It is funny because you didn't say it about me. -.-
If you need me to explain humor anymore, please, don't be afraid to ask...

Jada- yeah, well people gave me shit about it. No need to get a smart ass attitude with me,

Me-
No need to ask stupid questions.
Or post stupid statuses.
Do everyone a favor, and don't post stupid stuff like that again. Thanks in advance.

Jada- HAHAHAHAHAA! LMFAO

Me- Glad to make you smile.
Now please, get back to doing the public a favor by taking pictures of yourself in the bathroom mirror.
You know how that makes everyone so happy because you are working so hard by advancing society.
You're a true American hero.

Jada- STFU, you dont even know me.. so i dont even know how the hell you wannah sit here & talk shit.. Didnt your mom teach you some mother fuckin' manner's? God damn. talking to girls like that, wont get you anywhere. you fucking PRICK

Me- Keep throwing insults. I'm taking them really personally... -.-
Really, they hurt.
Please, my heart is crying.
Stop.
Ouch.
Did a 5th grader tell you what to say?

Jada- oh my bad, xD
fucking douchebag

Me- Now please. Apologize. My wittle heart hurts. Your big kid words sting my eyes when I read them.
Your parents must be proud you are so intelligent.
You should be on the debate team.

Jada- Actually, my dad is dead. But my mom doesnt give a fuck about me! thank you very much!

Me- Your arguing skills are much above average.
I liked when you called me a prick. It really showed how you are able to reason.
I'm very impressed.

Jada- you know what, I'm not gunnah fucking sit here & argue with a little ass bitch that wouldnt say this shit ti to my face. AND if you think you have the balls too.. Feel free to meet me somewhere.

Me- I'm too busy to go and spend any more time talking to you, let alone meeting you. I'm busy being productive and intelligent. You should try it sometime! Its a lot of fun!

Jada- exactly.

Me- I'm not entirely sure what I just proved, but I'm glad to have helped boots your probably low self esteem.

She then blocked me. I'm not entirely sure what compelled me into making this girl feel incredibly stupid, but at least she now knows what a joke is.

The English teacher/Lawyer AGAIN

So I was just minding my own business, adding tons of people that I don't know, when I got a message out of nowhere. From Dashia! My good buddy. This is the dialect that ensues.

Dashia- aren't yu a fake person lmfao [: eww/

Me- lolwut?

Dashia- yah yur not a real person my bf told me.

Me- Haha. One of my ex gfs told me she was a virgin. That ended up to not be true. The moral of the story here is that people lie and are sometimes wrong.

Dashia- okay cool; well what did yu write on my boyfriends wall that he deleted.

Me- I told him that I'd suck his dick for a nickle.
That was months ago if I ever did write on his wall. You expect me to remember what I wrote?
Why does it matter?

Dashia- yur disgusting yu freak.

Me- Hey. It is called a joke. Learn how to notice and then accept them. Without humor, you will be like your boyfriend. No one wants that.

Dashia- i can take humor real well; i have many friends that laugh at me all day long sayin' i'm hilarious--but i am just like my boyfriend n' that's why were together;; n' yur just a fake person ude he told me so idk why yur tryn to add n' talk to me dudeee.

Me- I laugh at you to. That doesn't mean you re funny. I'm laughing at your stupid comment right now. And you are far from funny to me. What do you mean by I'm trying to talk to you? I'm pretty sure you started this message... And one last thing, what kind of a name is Dashia? That isn't even a word in my spell check. Are your parents drunks?

Dashia- yur gonna get yur ass fkkd kicked so keep talking shit asshole-- i'm pretty sure yur fkkn dumbass send me a friend request that i never accepted cause yur a kreeeper that wants to suck my boyfriends dick l0l' Names arn't supposed to be words fkkkn faggggot; sorry i had a uniqute pretty name that wasn't a word already made in spell check like tim red hahahaha hot gay you sound like a faggot; it was an italian girls name so get fkkd cause yur gonna get yur shit fkkkkd up && i'ma laugh sooo hard again! [=

Me- My name is a word in my spell check. Dashia isn't. That tells me that Tim is a word and Dashia isn't a word. And do you actually know how to spell those words? Like creeper, fuck, faggot, and so on. You should buy a dictionary, read it a few times, then come and talk to me. Until then, have fun being below average intelligence.

Dashia- A Name is not supposed to be a FKKKKKKKKKN WORD && actually i'm probably going to become an English teacher cause i pass with A's easily asshole i don't need a fkkn spell check cause i'm smart enough BITCH! ALso i got a highest award in english of a class of four so suck my dick bitch  i mean my boyfriends
Oh yah my boyfriend wants to hurt yur face (;

Me- You responded! I can only assume that means that you read the dictionary a few times. You still need to work on your spelling. "Fkkn" isn't a word. In any dictionary. Also, "actually i'm probably going to become an English teacher cause i pass with A's easily asshole i don't need a fkkn spell check cause i'm smart enough BITCH!" is a run on sentence. You need to capitalize your "I'm", but then again, I'm not sure of you deserve it, not having a real name and all. Tell your boyfriend to come at me.

Dashia- okay, where do you wanna meet? we'll meet up today bitch n' see if you can back up your cocky smart ass words

Me- Back up what? I haven't said I was going to kick his ass or anything like that. But if he wants to fight me, he can just come and get me.

Dashia- yur a fkkkn re-tard.

Me- "re-tard" To tard again?

Dashia- suckaa nigger dick or someeee?

Me- That doesn't even make sense. At all.

Dashia- yes it actually does.

Me- Try to type it again, but this time, use correct grammar, spelling, and make sure its a complete sentence.

Dashia- Suck a Nigger dick or something?

Me- Still incorrect.

Dashia- no yur incorrect. Cause you like to suck dick & that's against the bible, l0l !

Me- You're extremely unintelligent.

Grocery List

I saw this empty piece of paper labeled "grocery list" hanging on my fridge, so my siblings and I decided to describe everything we needed instead of writing it.

1.) Flat toasted corn triangles

2.) Tomato and spice mixture to go with number one

3.) Small toasted orange squares covered with mature cheese

4.) Breaded sub shaped frozen filled object to be microwaved

5.) Miniature wheat specs with hidden colorful surprises

6.) Canned enriched macaroni product with water and tomato puree

7.) Yellow phone shaped objects with blue stickers that say, "place on forehead, laugh"

8.) Circular dough objects with hole missing from center to be toasted

9.) First three letters of your mom's maiden name and the last three letters of her last name (Spells out Kehill. We did this just to screw with our mom)

10.) Cylindrical frozen corn shell wrapped around non-vegetarian filling

11.) Bite-sized hollow CORN squares. NOT RICE!

12.) Miniature Brazilian delicacy eaten by royalties

13.) White fluffy sweetener used in baking

A lawyer or English teacher who can't type

After I realized how well my friends and I work as a team while trolling, I decided to team troll again. So I found a girl who doesn't know how to type, took her status, and posted it as a picture. I then tagged her. The caption was "I'm going to be really blunt with this one, Dashia. What is the point of typing like that? It seems to me like it would take more time. You, my friend, are ridiculous."


Dashia- who the fkk are yu kid && why the fkk are you making my status yur picture on fb get off my shit yu fkknd kreeper; yu don't know me or anything about my life so get fkkd ASSHOLE

Me- You didn't answer my question. Why do you type like that?

Dashia- stop talkint to me yu kreep i can do whatever the fkk i want i don't need a little 15 yr old boys opinion i'm grown get off my shit.

Me- ‎16*

And I am not on your shit. That sounds unpleasant, and frankly, smelly.

Dashia- yu have issues? are yu gay or something?

Me- No, but thanks for asking. A lot of people just assume I am gay, and call me a fag. And for the issue part, thanks for being concerned. I do not have issues tho.

Dashia- Ooooh lucky yu; no problems at all && people just assume yur gayy? Being a virgin is cool too i guess :P

Me- I am impartial on if being a virgin is cool. I know cool people that are virgins, and some who are not. And yes, people assume I'm gay and just jump right into calling me names. You on the other hand, asked to see if it would insult me or not. For that, I thank you.

Dashia- I never asked to see if it would insult i asked because i thought yu were gay simple; && therefore assumed yu were a virgin since yu said no :P but yu seem like a real winner! PEACE! ♥

Me- Thanks! My mommy calls me a winner all the time! I think that cancels out all the mean and naughty things other people say to me.

Jacob- Somebody should kill her.

Patrick- If this person died, she'd win a Darwin award.

Way to not lose your head in the face of utter stupidity.

Me- I try my best!

Dashia- Are yu guys all gay with each other or somethin? l0l' :P

Me- I already informed you, I'm not gay. I don't know about the other two, but I assume they are also straight.

Dashia- :D

Patrick- Dashia, is that really the best insult you come up with? I can assure you I'm not homosexual.

Jacob- Maybe, she's actually a lesbian, and just denying her own sexuality. :o

Me- Calling others gay is just one of her ways to cover up!

Jacob- we're onto you "Dashia."

Me- OR maybe we should call you... Manshia.

Taylor- what does she have against gays?

Max- she are just butt hurt she has a small penis

Lizzie- gUiz;;;;;; leve hur alone, sHe iz mEh hOmiEeee.

Spencer- im gay with everyone one here except lizzie max taylor patrick evan or dipshit...i mean dashia. similar names sorry :3

Patrick- So, just Jacob then?

Spencer- oh missed that lol. also except jacob :D i think thats everyone now

Ally- yu st00pid ev@n. l3@v3 hah al0n3

Dashia- i like how little boys are so immature they sounds worse than all the little girls talking shit on fb how funny l0l' [:

Ally- l0l0l0l0l ikr

Spencer- im immature :)

Lizzie- rIte daShiA?

Dashia- yah apparently everyone is on this page cause they have no lives [:

Me- Does that include you or not?

Dashia- no it doesn't sma

Ally- gurrrrl powahhh da$hi@

Me- I hope that you realize that you are on a losing side. You lost worse than I did when I thought I could fly by gluing feathers onto a sweater, and jumping off my roof.

Spencer- wait...you cant fly that way? well shit there goes my afternoon >.<

Me- IK! I thought it was the feathers that made a bird fly. Maybe its just the beak...

Dashia- yah sorry i don't waste my days battling facebook wars with females older than me about being gay & lesbian cause i got better things to do; but your conversations give me a good laugh so thanks [:

Ally- your welcome.

Me- It will give everyone a good laugh on my blog too. Everyone loves to laugh at dumb teenage girls that can't type.

Dashia- i'm an adult. Everyone laughs at gay kids who claim to be straight.

Me- Hiding your sexuality behind insults again?

Dashia- No i'm very happy & satisfied with my Male boyfriend actually; but good once once again? peace out! [:

Spencer- I remember when i laughed at someone who was different then me :) ahh... yah i got over that pretty quick

Me- She's just ignorant. Doesn't realize she is on a losing side.

Dashia- yah i could care less bout yu 14 yr old boys, apparently yu have nothin else better to do then sit & taunt older girls cause yur so [gay] yu don't know what else to do with yurself. Maybe you two should set up a date & go talk shit about me like the little girls do your age; then you'll look really cool!

Me- We're 16. We have lives. Yesterday, I actually hung out with Ally and Spencer. Not once did we talk about you, so don't think too highly of yourself. On days that I am not with them, you can usually find me with Lizzie. I LOVE that you have no other insult other then calling us all gay. We all must be gay because that is the definition of gay. "People that troll girls that have real typing skills and intelligence"

Dashia- That's fo funny because i'm going to be an English teacher or a Laywer && i'm pretty positive both require good tying skills, but keep typing paragraph stories; making yourself look more & more stupid [=

Me- By typing correctly, we look more stupid? That doesn't make sense to me. Regardless, I thought you have to have good arguing skills to be a lawyer, not get pissed and call someone gay after they say "umadbro?"

Spencer- don't be an English teacher... if you cant handle Evan and I there's no way in hell you'd last with a larger group of kids. as for being a lawyer well that's a good amount of intelligence away from your average English teacher. unless you mean English professor. i do find it quite hilarious that you keep reverting back to calling us gay little boys when, if fact, neither of us are little, boys or even gay. good try though :) id quit now while your still only loosing this much.

Dashia- Why don't yu two just be psychiatrists or something, since you both think yu can tell older people what to do in life. Try graduating highschool before you try and sound "real smart" or actually get to highschool first maybe? [:

Spencer- you would not be a good lawyer. all this hearsay and obviously false information. oh and age only gives you an advantage in book smarts and by talking to you i would say you should have taken advantage of some grammar books.

Dashia- keep typing away on a picture of my status, shows how pathetic you all are since i don't know one of yu FAGS. Hope yu look at this when your older & say wow i'm a fuckin dumbass? why would i sit with a group of gay guys & harass a girl i've never even met before? hahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahah :D

Spencer- then i would say to myself "oh that's right because ignorance needs to be criticized" . oh and for the record calling us gay and fags or whatever rather impolite label you have for us does not make us feel bad about ourselves. really its just a good sign that im a good person compared to you
sincerely,
the fag you've been arguing with

Dashia- that was so cute you admitted your a fag [:

Spencer- it's cute that you think everyone else doesn't already know ;)

Me- Spencer, I love you as a person. (Not gay, Dashia) I hope you realize that calling people gay, saying they are younger then they are, and using incorrect grammar will get you nowhere as a lawyer. Have you ever seen a show where there is a court case and someone says "This man is guilty of robbery because he is gay" I didn't think so. If you can't use an argument in court, then you can't use it as a point in an argument.

Spencer- and you can't win an argument against two teenagers sooo.... yeaaah...

Me- You know you can't make it as a school teacher if two teenage boys can make a fool of you over the internet. XD

Spencer- True facts ^

Dashia- keep typing to know one [: you look so smart! (;

Me- I'm typing to everyone in this conversation. And thanks for complementing me on how intelligent I look! I do look pretty darn smart! All this AND brains.

Spencer- ‎*no one. and obviously your one of the people were typing to because you keep responding even after saying several times that your done with us

Me- Damn straight.

Group Fun

My friend and fellow troll made a Facebook group praising herself. It was named after herself and all. As conceded as this is, it is also utterly hilarious. She made me an admin for the page, and I added a few hundred people. Half of these people couldn't find the "Leave Group" button on the right side of the screen. Those stupid people would post on the wall swearing, and threatening me, telling me to remove them. My friends in the group would then gain up on those unlucky wall posters. My friends and I then made more group pages to add people to. This wall post was in the "The Lithuanian farmers front for black brits in asia against america" group made by another friend.

Andy- This is fucking retarded, and annoying as hell.

Me- IK! Whoever came up with this group shall be burned at the stake!

Andy- Fuck you Evan. You're a dumbass.

Me- No. I'm just a man. A man who supports The Lithuanian farmers front for black Brits in Asia against America.

Andy- Shut the hell up! God dammit you're annoying!

Me- Hey, by posting on this wall, you just gave 145 people a notification. Thats annoying.

Andy- Hey, by making this stupid shit and adding everyone to it, you just gave 145 people a notification. THAT'S annoying. God you're fucking stupid

Me- Don't call God stupid. He did nothing to deserve your hate.

Andy- SHUT UP!

Me- BURN IN HELL, MOTHERFUCKER!

Fabio- LOL

Me- LOL (16 times in different comments)

Fabio- LOL (19 times in different comments)

Me- <3

Cozzi- Love not hate

Andy- Wow, you faggot. You're cool because you can spam the hell out of a facebook page and piss people off.

Me- Thanks! I think I'm pretty cool to. Not for that specific reason, but cool none the less.

Fabio- i really needed someone to compliment me today!! Thanks :)

Cozzi- What did i just say? No one ever listens.
What did i just say? No one ever listens.

Spencer- lol he uses default comeback
Faggot (24 times in different comments)

Fabio- Anal?

Me- I'm down.

Andy- Say that to my face

Fabio- What? Anal?

Me- C'mon over! I'd love to meet you. Anal.

Spencer- anal
Il say it to your face and watch you do nothing about it.

Andy- Do it bitch.

Cozzi- Pickle

Me- I love how you can talk shit over the internet.
It turns me on.

Fabio- Evan has to clean his keyboard now.

Spencer- where you live
id be happy to take you to coffee and maybe see a movie
seeing as you are gay and all :3

Andy- Evan, you and your friends are douche bags. I'm cool because I can talk shit on the internet? Practice what you and your friends preach, dumbass. And Spencer, whoever the fuck you are, keep your mouth shut unless you can back your shit. Shut up before somebody rocks your shit

Fabio- Roid rage

Me- Rock my body, champ ;)

Andy- You have to be stupid or something. I don't know one person who would keep talking like you. You don't know kid

Me- Or something is right. And I do not know Kid. Is he a cool guy?

Cozzi- You could just be the bigger man and walk away... Oh wait. No you cant!

Me- He can't walk away because he doesn't know how to leave the group!

Andy- Don't let me catch you in person kid

Fabio- who are you talking to?

Me- Anyone one of us, I'm assuming. This guy seems mad. Umadbro?

Fabio- Problem?

Andy- I'm fucking serious, I don't know why you don't just shut up.

Me- Because, I love you. Wish to make sweet sweet love? We will make sexy babies.

Fabio- Because youre too easy to talk to;)

Andy- FUCK OFF!

Me- Who is Off?
Is he as hot as you ;)

Cozzi- Its funny because hes being tough.

Fabio- awww i think our friend left

Cozzi- Its so cute when they finally learn.

Inge- hahaha i agree with cozzi.

I ended up liking all of his comments and his wall post. That and all of the comments gave him a total of 114 notifications.

A poking hacker

Every time I add a friend, I also poke them. My pokes were building up for a while. I got to the point where I had 50 pokes, so I thought of a way to have fun with it. I posted a picture of all of my pokes, and then I tagged everyone who poked me. In this my name is Tim, Evan and Lizzie are my helpers.

Evan- God dude. How do you get all of those?!

Tim- I H4x.

Jordyn- i never poked you...

Tim- I h4x. Duh. N00blet.

Julie- either did i

Jordyn- your seriously a dumbass sick fake freak.
get a life.

Tim- How am I fake just because I h4x?

Julie- we never poked yu

Tim- OMG PEOPLE! I HACKED ALL OF YOU AND MADE YOU POKE ME!

Jordyn- stfu. 

go screw your cousin again..
and now immma report you to the cops..

Tim- How is this illegal in any way?

Jordyn- my uncles a f'n cop...

if im upset. everything is.

Makaela- Hacking is illegal, baha

Jordyn- im sick of this kid..

he's a gross sick pizza face fag.

Becca- hahaha shitt..

Paige- Haha yea, damnnn

Tim- Tell me one law that says going onto others Facebook accounts is illegal.

Jordyn- everyone there is..

Tim- Tell me one.

Evan- Guys. This isn't illegal. Plus, he hides behind so many proxies, you won't be able to charge him with anything.

Aaron- Why didn't you poke me back yet? :(

Becca- As shallow and anoyying as it is, its not ileagal. fb policeies say its our responsibility in privacy. Lmfao Aaron

Aaron- <3

Tim- There, bro. You are the only one who seems to like my work.

Aaron- Make sure you poke TJ hes also part of the Tim Army <33

Tim- <3

Lizzie (Claims to be Tim's cousin)- omg tim. when did we fuck?

Tim- You wouldn't remember.

Lizzie- Trolol. Liarrrr.

Makaela- Ohjesus-.-

Lizzie- i know right. 

I know you are, but what am I?

Tim- A dick.

Lizzie- Richard? No thats my baby daddys name..

OZe- Fucking untag me

 

Tim- Fucking burn in hell, bitch.

OZe- You fucking frizzy hair little cum guzzler knock this shit off no one thinks it's cool and your being a complete moron about this and pissing everyone off

Lizzie- I'm sorry =[

Am I really frizzy haired?

Tim- Don't talk to Lizzie like that!

OZe- I'm talking bout tim

Lizzie- Phew

Tim- Hey bro. I wanna make sweet love to you, why can't you accept that?

OZe- YOU ARE WEIRD!!!

Julie- i just want people to stop talking cuz the notifications are gay

Tim- You know what else is gay? Having sex with another man!

Insert lame title here

So this title doesn't give you any idea as to what I will be writing about. Plenty of ideas are probably flying through your head right now. Maybe I will write about me trolling, or maybe I will write a random story. To end the extreme agony you must be going through, I will tell you. This is a trolling article.

I am friends with a bunch of people on Facebook that I don't know. Most are from other towns. Sometimes random people will talk to me and many of the conversations I have with strangers are pointless. Today a girl started talking to me. This is the message.

Lauren: Boy or girl?????

Me: Boy.

Lauren: My neighbor told me he saw you looking through my windows last night at me and Kailey..

Me: Who are you? XD

Lauren: A person.. You should no... Your the one stalking me

Me: I'd love to be able to tell you that it was me, but I live half way across the state from you. I didn't drive over an hour to look at you through a window.

Lauren: Really now..?Whys that??

Me: Whys what?

Lauren: Why would you want you to??

Me: Because it would be funny as fuck to be able to say that it was me. But it wasn't. So have fun looking for your stalker. The best way to talk to them would be to walk into a dark alley or something. They like to appear there.

Lauren: So I can find youuu?

Me: What?

Lauren: Would i fid youuu in that ally?

Me: No. I'm not your stalker. But if I was, I would approach you if you were in a dark alley alone.

Lauren: What would you do..?

Me: I'm not the stalker. Idk what he thinks.

Lauren: You said you would approach me..? What do you mean?

Me: Come up to you.

Lauren: And do what..?

Me:If it was me, I'd shake your hand and say "Its good to meet you in real life" Then I would proceed to ask you what you were doing in a dark alley alone.

Lauren: Ooh.. Im sure..

Me: If you are trying to imply that I would rape you, you need to become a little less full of yourself. And get your big head out of the gutter.

Lauren: Uhm im not saying tht..? Wthh? Get your head outtah the gutter..

Me: You were implying it.

Lauren: No i wasnt?

Me: Why is that a question? Did you say it with an upward inflection at the end?

Lauren: What??

Me: Never mind...

Lauren: kay?

Me: How is that a question?

Lauren: Idkk?

Me: That isn't a question either.

Being a huge creep

I like to be a creep on some of my Facebook accounts. I enjoy it. I like the reaction I can get out of people. It may seem sick, but I really don't care. I creeped on a girl, Emily, for a long time, and I decided to take it one step further. I took a "Selfy" she did of herself and I edited in my fake profile's head. Out of the girl's privacy, I have slightly edited the picture.

This is my disclaimer for the article that I have to put in: Remember kids, no matter what you do on the internet can't affect real life!

Emily- Omfg wtf?

Me- Like it?

Emily- NO! What is wrong with you?!

Grant- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Alexis- This is really creepy.

Emily- Grant :'(

Matt- Probably the best picture I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. Ever.

Aaron- I laughed at how fucking retarded this kid is.

Me- I'm glad all of you like it.

Emily- STOP!

Me- Stop what?

Emily- Creeepin on people. Nobody likes you. You say you want "friends" but no one wants to be friends with a psycho stalker freak that only talks about sex!

Me- I talk about other things too.

Emily- No.

Sam- Go find someone else to creep on. your scaring her.

Matt- I kinda wanna be his friend

Emily- Mattt go die

Matt- Nothankyou

Me- I'd love to be friends with you, Matt. And Emily, don't me mean to my friend.
        She blocked me.

Matt- Oh shooot.

Me- I don't think she liked the picture :(

Carrissa- im not thinking so either. haha

Me- I bet Lizzie would like this picture.

Lizzie (helper)- you got a girlfriend cuz?!

Damyn- Your his cousin? I would disown him if i were you.

Me- Because it totally works that way.

Damyn- Bro... you are by far the creepiest kid i have ever met. If you were trying to be funny, you failed miserably.

Me- Hey. Thanks!

Damyn- Just wanted to inform you. But you are still gonna creep heavy on people.

Jon- Emily just call the cops he can get in trouble.

Engineering Project

I'm in an engineering class. We had an project assigned to us that took about a month. For the project we had to make some sort of product and present it to the class, but there was a catch. Our partner had to be in another hour. I was able to pick my partner, so I chose a friend of mine. I chose him only because I knew that I could screw with him. My partner gets mad easily and hates everyone else for being so stupid, so I exploited that. During the project, we had to write notes to each other over the computer. Because he is a control freak and a perfectionist, he made me write and him write in blue. Here is the last day of notes we wrote to each other.

Him-

• Why the hell did you switch all of the colors! I had to go and switch them back.
• I think we are done, but I need you to double check that we have everything.
• If we are really all done, you need to not change anything in this folder unless I tell you can!
• From what I know, the only thing’s that you did were:
  • Make 3-hand sketches.
  • Add dimensions to 2 of the drawings.
  • Make a decision matrix template; you didn’t even fill it out.
  • “Researched”
  • Socialized everyday in class.
  • And got food from the cafeteria one day, when you told the substitute that you were getting a drink of water.
• If that is correct, just say that it is.
  
  

Me-

• No. That is not correct. I am highly offended by this.
  • I went and got lunch on several occasions. I told the sub I was going to the bathroom, not getting a drink.
  • I socialized everyday in class to get brainstorm ideas, so don’t imply that it is a bad thing. That’s called ignorance. Ignorance is the cause of the Holocaust, so watch it.
  • I remember sharpening my pencil a few days ago. That was the most productive thing I did that day.
  • Everyday I would listen to music and text people.
  • Most days I would talk to my friends on Gmail Chat.
  • I did a few teammate evaluations in which I gave you a very good score. I hope you can do the same for me.
  • One day I was looking into computer parts and pricing out how much it would be to upgrade my RAM.
  • I scanned two pictures.
  • I gave you something to laugh at daily.
  • I have always been there for you. Day or night.
  • I made the first inventor sketch.
  • One day I came to class 10 minutes late without anyone noticing. I should get props for that.
  • One day I slept for a while.
  • Most days I told you that my computer didn’t work.
  • Most days I lied to you about my computer not working.
  • I have had to read through your massive paragraph of notes EVERYDAY!
  • Thought about fun ways to piss you off. (I came up with a lot)
  • Made this box.
  • I think somewhere along the line I asked a valid question.
  • I learned a lot about you.
  • Everyday I pissed off Broske.
• I have done more then you think, so don’t underestimate me.

Slinging insults.

Don't you hate it when people post a ton of statuses all within a few minutes of each other? This girl posted nine statuses within eight minutes total. I decided to put it to a stop the way I know best. With trolling her and exploiting the fact that she is a teenage girl and is like every other teenage girl out there; obsessed with drama. In this, my name is Evan.

Status

Lauren: Confession #7: micaela won't stop talking to me.
Evan: Confession #1: These are annoying and I would like it if you didn't blow up my news feed. Post these as a note.

Lauren: Screw you! DELETE ME YOU HOMO!

Evan: Homo? Is that backed up with facts or are you just throwing insults out there hoping to catch a nerve?

Lauren: Facts. Because your brother is one too.

Evan: Ha. My brother is far from a homo. Its just losers like you that don't like someone, so they just say shit about people to make them look bad. Feel good making fun of people? Does it make the pain of your step daddy touching you go away?

Lauren: My step daddy touching me? First of all, my dad died a few months ago. Second, i dont have a step dad. Does it feel good now that you made fun of my "step dad"? Stop commenting on my status!

Evan: Don't make fun of my brother :) Now you can go back to giving hand jobs and not knowing that by the time you get to high school, you will just be considered a slut and no one is going to even want to be by you. All because you are mean to everyone to make yourself feel better.

Alyssa: You shouldn't of even gone there.

Evan: Too late. Don't ya think so?

Alyssa: SHES THE FARTHEST FROM A SLUT SO DONT JUDGE BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.

Lauren: Uhmm, hand jobs? Where did that come from? That makes TOTAL sense. Hahhahahahha, retardd.

Evan: Didn't she start it all by calling me and my brother a homo? You are the one who calls straight people gay. Where did that come from? At least I was right with the sexuality.

Alyssa: You commented on this status first.

Evan: She posted stupid shit :)

Lauren: CALLING ME THAT MADE NO SENSE YOU RETARD. calling your brother a homo did. Soo eff off and stop commenting on this.

Evan: How is my brother gay? I'd like to know. He has to of done something so gay that it makes me gay too. But I'm not entirely sure how that is possible.

Lauren: Look at your profile picture. I'm pretty sure that explains it all:)

Evan: I'm sorry that having fun and joking around with my sister makes me and my brother gay. I understand that you think someone is gay if they get along with their sister well enough to joke around. You just hate family. I understand.

Lauren: Definately. I hate my family? Mhmm.. how'd you know!

Evan: It must of been when you called me gay for joking around with my sister that the revelation came to me.

She ended up deleting the comments so that people would stop liking my comments. Good thing I have a blog to show to people.

Saving a baby

So one day I was walking and I heard a scream. I looked to my right, and saw a group of ninjas surrounding a mom and her baby. I yelled "OH MY GOD, A BABY!" I then ran up and kicked a ninja in the head. He fell to the ground in pain. I ghetto stomped his head in, and precoded to uppercut another ninja when my arm was grabbed. It was a polar bear with a knife. He took a slash at me, and I barely dodged it. I punched him in the head as hard as I could, but he was barely affected. I noticed a ninja with a sword sneaking up behind me. He took a stab at me, but just before he hit me, I jumped up and his sword passed right by me into the polar bear's heart. I grabbed the polar bear's knife and slashed the ninjas neck. There was one ninja left. I saw him lunging towards the mom. He stabbed the mom in the face, and she threw her baby into the air. I yelled for the baby, and dove. I barely caught him. I stood up and kicked the ninja in the chest. He flew back and hit a wall. I did a flying side kick, and pinned the ninjas head right between the wall and my foot. His head exploded in a bloody mess. The baby was safe.

My Best Friend

This is an article all about my best friend.

 I knew we were best friends ever since I started to mock you about your little 'Nokia' phone. The moment you said you would kick my ass, I knew it. I knew we would be friends forever. The time we hung out at the pet store was the best time ever. You said "It wasn't hanging out, I just saw you there. Fag" I remember the time I tried to talk to you when you were talking to a girl, and you pretended that you didn't know me. I like how you hide your face every time I try to take a picture of you. I love how you call me pet names like "fag" and "freak"

Ke$ha

This starts out as a Facebook fight that I had nothing to do with. But after commenting a little bit, I managed to hijack it. I removed some of the unnecessary stuff that wasn't fun. In this, I'm Evan.


Molly- Haha whores these days needa get a life!! Cough cough Tiffany!!!

Keisha- Hahahahahaha!

(Fighting about a guy or something)

Keisha- Can't we all be happy?

(More fighting and calling each other whores)

Evan- This fight is odd. I'm not sure who wins it.

(Fighting and immature 10 year old name calling)

Keisha- Lets be nice and stop fighting!

Evan- KE$HA! No one is gunna be happy just because you say so...

Keisha- shut up evan... my name is not fucking KE$H@.. its keisha so get it right

Faith- i lovee mollyyy:) && keisha ahah

Keisha- haa i love you too faith but someone over here doesnt know how to spell keisha

Evan- Thats me!

Faith- lmao the whole time your just like heyyy, lets be nice. ahahah

Keisha- yeah n i wasnt even talking to you about you to be nice so idk y you had to say anythig

Evan- Go smoke pot somewhere else, Ke$ha. No one needs your chillness rubbing off on them.

Keisha- how bout you go suck a dick and get over it cause i wasnt talking to you, and learn how to spell peoples fucking names while your at it.

Evan- Ik how to spell, Ke$ha. And now you don't seem too chill.
Faith- your a dick evan.

Keisha- umm obviously you dont know how to spell keisha you dumb ass

Evan- What am I doing wrong? Aren't you Ke$ha?

Molly- i ♥ keisha n faithhhh!!!

Keisha- no your fucking retard ke$ha is white.. does it look like im white? NO didnt think so

Evan- Do people ever mistake you for Ke$ha?

Keisha- your fucking dumb

Evan- Pasifist isn't too peaceful now.

Faith- ke$ha is a weird white singer.. KEISHA is a sexy black chick thats funny as hell.

Evan- And is the meanest pacifist I know of.

Keisha- haha yeaah exactly faith :) n evan its cause you said the dumbest shit to me when i wasnt even talking to you so get your facts straight sweetheart :)

(Making fun of my name for 20 minutes)

Evan- I'm back. Sorry I didn't respond. I had to post this status to my trolling blog.

Faith- Shut up faggot

Evan- I bet thats backed up with facts.

Faith- shhh. just stop talking

Evan- So I'm assuming that it isn't backed up? Because if it isn't then I have to quick edit my post on my blog.

Keisha- umkay shut the fuck up now.. your annoying

Evan- Wait. Penis?

Faith- penis you like? wait what?

Evan- Funny. if I wanted my own comeback, I'd wipe it off your mom's face.

Faith- oh my god.. hilarious. you wish you could get my mom. your ugly as hell. ahha

Evan- Ha. Oh the irony.

Keisha- hahahaah!! gtfo

Faith- LMFAO!! i actaully just got that joke now hahahahhahhahahhahh

Evan- Slow?

Faith- you look like you just tooka shit in you picture. your nasty.

Evan- Maybe I did just take a shit in it... Do you have a problem with that?

A few morons

I hate it when people posts statuses about someone but then don't tell who it is about. What is even the point of that? I troll them every time. My name is Chuck

Dylan- Your a lost cause

Michaela 

whoo??

Dylan

nvm lol

Chuck

Why would you post the status if you won't even tell us?

Dylan

who r u?

Michaela

maybe it was a 'had to be there' kinda thing :P

Chuck

If it was then why would he tell us? And I'm Chuck. Can't you tell?

Dylan

na u is a fag

Chuck 

Na me is not a fag. U is a fag.

Dylan

lmao u think u funny huh

Chuck 

I know I'm funny. You think you're gangster?

Dylan

ohhhhh ic this is a jealousy thing

Chuck

Hahaha! What would I be jealous of? Your lack of a brain and good grammar?

Dylan

shit idk look at u im guessin a lot

Michaela

he has things you will NEVER get...

Chuck

I'm jealous of your superior grammar and your talented and witty brain. I will never be as smart as you, and I can only wish I was.

Michaela

again..things you wont ever get

Dylan

id rather not have a fag tryin to complament me

Chuck

Don't talk to Michaela like that!

Dylan

lol u a funny lil guy

Michaela

u best shut up

Chuck

Or what?

Michaela

just watch out

Chuck

You didn't answer my question.

Dylan

Machaela stop he gunna tell his mom

Michaela

.....fine.. :/

Chuck

Ha. I don't talk to my mom. I talk to yours.

Dylan

ur gay

Chuck

Not if I'm doing your mom.

Dylan

lol u a virgin and u know it

Dylan

‎...sorry if I hurt your feelings chuck

Ryan

yo tim ur a straight up faggit

Status comments deleted.

Random thoughts.

If weed made you green, then Bob Marley would look like the Hulk. With dreads. Do you know how epic that shit would be?

If music expresses you, then people who listen to Top 40 just want to do what the crowd does.

In a world without pants, streakers are just people without shirts on.

If we are what we eat, then the only real humans are cannibals.

If I am friends with someone ugly on Facebook and I don't know them, they will get removed.

Facebook is the only place that I can legally write on walls.

Girls on DailyBooth are obsessed with mustaches.

Teachers don't like it when you make fun of the obviously retarded kid. Especially when you say the joke to the teacher.

When you say on Facebook that you are smoking crack, people will believe you.

Cheeze-Its > Cheese Nips

Why do we call our parents "Mom" and "Dad" when they call us by our first names?

If you walk around school pretending to be gay, no girls will want to date you.

Eat to live. Don't live to eat.

Moms don't like it when you tell them that you need to be picked up at a place over a hour away.

It is illegal to sit across the street from a school and take pictures of the kids walking out.

I wish that when people would post statuses about how much they hate me, that they would tag me.

Incest is illegal in Wisconsin.

People think you are stupid if you go around saying that you are glad that it is Friday. When it is really Wednesday.

If someone says that you are "really nice" when you are trolling, then they are just trying to get with you.

Some people over edit their pictures.

April Fools Day

Yesterday was April first. Everyone knows what April first means. It means that everyone is going to think that they are funny and pull some stupid prank on me. It is a day full of ups and downs. This is my April Fools Day story.

It was about 11 o'clock at night and I was sitting on the toilet. I look over to my left to grab some toilet paper, but the roll was empty. I look closer at this apparent travesty and see that the empty roll reads "Haha." At that very moment, my entire day flashed before my eyes.

My April first started like any other day besides the whole part of waking up to the sound of two people bumping uglies. I look around my room and see nowhere that the noise would be coming out of, so I open my door. I open it just to see my brother sitting on the laptop, blasting porn through the speakers just to wake me up. Seeing the big smile on his face, I just think to myself that I will get him back. Bad. I shut the laptop and tell him to stop thinking that he is so funny. He smiled and carried on with his day.

At about noon I get hungry, so I pull a pizza out of my freezer. I turn on the oven to 425 as always, and wait. After about five minutes of just the oven warming up, I smell smoke. And a lot of it. I run to my kitchen, jumping over both of my dogs, and ignoring the laws of physics. I throw open the oven to see what is in it, and there is a slab of napalm burning. I run to the basement to grab the fire extinguisher, but it isn't there. I sprint upstairs somehow avoiding all of the many obstacles in my way and grab the fire extinguisher in the upstairs closet. I throw myself down the stairs and back into the kitchen as my ears hear the blazing of the fire alarms. I open back up the oven and spray it down. I hear my brother then yell from upstairs, "April Fools! Now clean that mess up before Mom and Dad get home from Grandmas." At that very moment, I thought of the ultimate April fools joke.

As I finished cleaning up the oven and scraping the melted napalm out of the bottom, I text my sister. I tell her my plan, and she agrees to go along with it. I then call my mom. I tell her "You gotta get home, and quick. But I can't talk right now. Just get home, please!" Once I hung up, she called me back. She asked "Whats wrong, Evan?!" I then tell her one of the worst things someone could ever hear "The house is on fire. Drew and I are okay and we have the dogs here, but the firemen don't know how much of the house will be left." My mom was speechless, but after a second she told me that she is on her way and that she will be home in a little bit. I hung up the phone and started cracking up.

In the car, my mom was panicking. She set down her phone, and my sister knew that now its up to her. She took my mom's phone and put it in her pocket. That made sure my mom wouldn't call anyone and tell them. I then sat down to relax, knowing that I possibly just took several years off my mom's life. But at least I will get a good laugh out of it. Then this girl who I have liked for a while called. She asked me if I wanted to hang out, and I instantly said yes. I asked who we would be hanging out with and in a very sensual voice she told me that "Its just going to be us today." Because I am a teenage boy, I went along with it. I asked her where and she told me to meet her at her house and that no one else was home. I instantly hopped on my longboard and rode on over to her house. Once i got up to her front door, I saw a note. It read "I'm not actually home. I am really hooking up with your friend, Jordan. April fools."

After a long, and slow ride home I went to my kitchen and grabbed a cup. I walked to my sink and turned it on.

The spray hose then sprayed my crotch full of water. Quickly turning the sink off, I rolled my eyes and took the rubber band off of the hose. I turned the sink back on and poured myself a tall glass of water. Not knowing any better, I took a sip. It was disgusting. I looked at the counter and saw the Tabasco sauce sitting there. Someone must of laced the cup with it. At that very moment, I heard the car pulling up the driveway.

My mother stormed into the house and without saying a thing, pointed to the staircase. I knew that meant she wanted me out of her sight and in my room. I walked up the stairs in pride, knowing it was worth it. I spent the rest of that day napping until about 11. At 11 I woke up feeling the sudden urge to take a dump, and well, you know the rest of the story.

I have some girl problems...

So I was sitting there doing some math and a pleasant female co-worker with whom I was previously acquainted approached me and asked me if I wanted to go for coffee.

I estimated that the distance from my office to the coffee shop to be around 100m +/- 5m, so with a mean walking speed of 1.2 m/s it would take me a maximum of 87.5 seconds to get there. I know for a fact that the length of the corridor outside my office is 18m, +/-1m, and so should take 15.8333333 seconds to traverse.

I decided to walk at her speed, because it seemed like the appropriate social convention if I intended to court this lady. I also timed how long it took us to walk there out of interest. She talked to me as we walked down the corridor and clearly was not focused on the task at hand, to navigate ourselves to the coffee shop in a sensible and timely fashion, drink some coffee and return to work. After 20 seconds, we had still not reached the stairs, meaning she was walking at < 0.9m/s. That is more than 25% slower than the average walking speed.

I asked her why she was intent on wasting my time. When she asked what I meant, I confronted her with the cold harsh fact that she was moving appreciably slower than she ought to be. She asked what was wrong with me, to which I replied that I was not the one who was clearly well outside the normal distribution for human walking speed in an unremarkable situation. She told me to forget it (which clearly defies principals on the function and longevity of human memory) and accelerated in the opposite direction of the coffee shop at an appreciable rate, thereby confirming my suspicion that she was moving slowly in order to waste my time. This in turn made the wasting of my time futile as I no longer had any reason to obey social convention and accept her invitation of coffee.

She later came and told ME that I was unreasonable.

Trolling the dance team

I was invited to a local dance team's event, and because it wasn't relevant to me, I decided to troll it, then watch the mess I made unfold. In this, my name is Chuck.


Chuck- As much as I would like to watch a bunch of barely literate high school girls running around and doing their little flips, I have to watch paint dry.


Anna- Alright... that was real mature and definitely made a lot of sense too.


Alexandria-  I agree with you Anna, that was quite rude of him to say, and yes very inappropriate on his part, and all of us dance team girls are very literate and have very high GPA with a great talent of dancing that comes along with all of our charismatic personalities.


Julie- Alex and all...I saw your dancing video and you could rival the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders!! I wish I could be there to see you all.


Cole- Hey Chuck, I understand your dancing skills are uncomparable, but could you lay off a bit.


Alyssa- I dont know who you are but that was totally uncalled for. we are a strong, smart, and loving group of girls who all have high GPA's and great talent. You shouldnt judge until you have seen. im sure you would be impressed at what we can do and couldnt come close to executing the moves we do. we respect every other sport out there, we deserve just as much.


Caleb- hey Chuck maybe instead of spending your spare time ripping on our great dance you should go play in your play pen in your basement where you belong.


Ryan- He's homeschooled.
'nuff said.

Matt- You should go. Maybe you could make a friend. Probably not, but there's a chance.

Caleb- the chance of him making a friend is 0 i'll give you 3 reasons 1) as ryan pointed out he is homeschooled 2) you can't make friends when you sit on your ass all day without seeing the sun playing cod and 3) his first impression for everyone has gone down the shitter so nobody likes him.

Cody- Hey Chuck, go fuck yourself.

Trolling some Muslims

I came across a group on Muslims, so I decided to do some trolling. I am fully aware that this sounds very racist, but I am not. Racism is a crime and crime is for black people. In this, my name is Tim.

Tim- Can Muslims die of natural causes? Or do they all just blow themselves up before they get too old?

David- wow really buddy? Muslims do not “blow themselves up” that is people who go off to do their own things and transgress against Islam but still calm to be Muslim and say they are fighting in the way of Islam when what they doing is not allowed in Islam…i Hoped i help you some.

Tim- But isn’t that who we are fighting? The Muslims?

David- no we are not fighting Muslims because there are Muslim men and women in our military… We are fighting the people that believe acts of violence and mass murder are ok… they may say what they do is because of Islam when in fact it forbidden in Islam, when at war, to harm any one in an country who is not a soldier, and once the other country stops advancing you push them back as far as they had pushed you and you stop. Muslims are not even allowed to cut down trees or burn crops of country they are at war with.

Tim- ” We are fighting the people that believe acts of violence and mass murder are ok” Isn’t that all Muslims?

David- No it isnt…i explained in further detail below, but no we do not…i am Muslim and i for one KNOW that those thinks are not ok..it is never justified to kill innocent people.

Tim- Who said those people were innocent? They went against Muhammad AND Buddha. Then don’t you go and call jihad?

David- Those people who? are we talking 9/11 or give me a reference to go by please…but Jihad is not a war it is the struggle in the way of Islam…yes it can be physical but that is in the rare cases where Muslims are being oppressed…90% of you Muslims wont care who is against the Prophet Muhammad(pboh) because the Quran teaches us to each his own, as long as you dont get crazy with it then feel free to have your own beliefs, and Buddha is not Islamic it is Buddhist but we do respect the religion.

Tim- Then who is the one that is half elephant? And I heard that Muhammad can get stabbed in a sword fight, but live as long as his head isn’t chopped off. Is that true?

David- the half elephant is Hindu i believe…i could be wrong though…and no Muhammad could not live through anything as long as he had his head… He was wounded in Battle but his injuries were not life threating and he continued fighting…The prophet Muhammad(pboh) was nothing more than a man that was moral and received a message from God.

Tim- So there are two Muhammads? Did they ever get into a battle together? I think that if they were to fight back to back it would be pretty sweet. They can fight an army of that elephant guy.

(No response)