Slinging insults.

Don't you hate it when people post a ton of statuses all within a few minutes of each other? This girl posted nine statuses within eight minutes total. I decided to put it to a stop the way I know best. With trolling her and exploiting the fact that she is a teenage girl and is like every other teenage girl out there; obsessed with drama. In this, my name is Evan.

Status

Lauren: Confession #7: micaela won't stop talking to me.
Evan: Confession #1: These are annoying and I would like it if you didn't blow up my news feed. Post these as a note.

Lauren: Screw you! DELETE ME YOU HOMO!

Evan: Homo? Is that backed up with facts or are you just throwing insults out there hoping to catch a nerve?

Lauren: Facts. Because your brother is one too.

Evan: Ha. My brother is far from a homo. Its just losers like you that don't like someone, so they just say shit about people to make them look bad. Feel good making fun of people? Does it make the pain of your step daddy touching you go away?

Lauren: My step daddy touching me? First of all, my dad died a few months ago. Second, i dont have a step dad. Does it feel good now that you made fun of my "step dad"? Stop commenting on my status!

Evan: Don't make fun of my brother :) Now you can go back to giving hand jobs and not knowing that by the time you get to high school, you will just be considered a slut and no one is going to even want to be by you. All because you are mean to everyone to make yourself feel better.

Alyssa: You shouldn't of even gone there.

Evan: Too late. Don't ya think so?

Alyssa: SHES THE FARTHEST FROM A SLUT SO DONT JUDGE BECAUSE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER.

Lauren: Uhmm, hand jobs? Where did that come from? That makes TOTAL sense. Hahhahahahha, retardd.

Evan: Didn't she start it all by calling me and my brother a homo? You are the one who calls straight people gay. Where did that come from? At least I was right with the sexuality.

Alyssa: You commented on this status first.

Evan: She posted stupid shit :)

Lauren: CALLING ME THAT MADE NO SENSE YOU RETARD. calling your brother a homo did. Soo eff off and stop commenting on this.

Evan: How is my brother gay? I'd like to know. He has to of done something so gay that it makes me gay too. But I'm not entirely sure how that is possible.

Lauren: Look at your profile picture. I'm pretty sure that explains it all:)

Evan: I'm sorry that having fun and joking around with my sister makes me and my brother gay. I understand that you think someone is gay if they get along with their sister well enough to joke around. You just hate family. I understand.

Lauren: Definately. I hate my family? Mhmm.. how'd you know!

Evan: It must of been when you called me gay for joking around with my sister that the revelation came to me.

She ended up deleting the comments so that people would stop liking my comments. Good thing I have a blog to show to people.

Saving a baby

So one day I was walking and I heard a scream. I looked to my right, and saw a group of ninjas surrounding a mom and her baby. I yelled "OH MY GOD, A BABY!" I then ran up and kicked a ninja in the head. He fell to the ground in pain. I ghetto stomped his head in, and precoded to uppercut another ninja when my arm was grabbed. It was a polar bear with a knife. He took a slash at me, and I barely dodged it. I punched him in the head as hard as I could, but he was barely affected. I noticed a ninja with a sword sneaking up behind me. He took a stab at me, but just before he hit me, I jumped up and his sword passed right by me into the polar bear's heart. I grabbed the polar bear's knife and slashed the ninjas neck. There was one ninja left. I saw him lunging towards the mom. He stabbed the mom in the face, and she threw her baby into the air. I yelled for the baby, and dove. I barely caught him. I stood up and kicked the ninja in the chest. He flew back and hit a wall. I did a flying side kick, and pinned the ninjas head right between the wall and my foot. His head exploded in a bloody mess. The baby was safe.